Sorrow

I am feeling very melancholy this evening. I just received a long distance phone call from a friend telling me his mother just passed away.
Flashback to the early "60's" ...a single mother during an era that was still somewhat innocent. If you did not have a dad at home your mom was known as a fast or bad woman and you were considered a bastard. If you didn't fit that Ozzie & Harriet family description of a middle class family you were looked down on and judged by the general population, and God forbid if you were any other race than white because racial hatred was very much alive and well prior to The Civil Rights Movement. (Not that prejudice isn't alive today, but hopefully we have learned to have more love and acceptance for each other as human beings).
My friend's mom and my mom were best friends. They had met working on the same job. Although my mother was married and I had a father in the house, my mom was looked down on because she worked outside the home and she was actively fighting for civil rights. My family was not well liked in a community where most people were middle class Ozzie & Harriet's.
So the two moms, one single raising a young boy on her own and the other independent, unfashionable and opinionated, formed a bond that lasted for almost fifty years.
I told my friend, "My heart breaks for you. I know how much you meant to each other. It was always just the two of you." His reply, "No, we had you and your mom in some of the most difficult times in our life."
My mother is 88 years old and just as spry as ever. She takes care of my father who is 91 and my 57 year old mentally ill brother. She can talk politics and current events better than anyone I know, and she can tell you stories of the great depression that will have you wiping tears from your eyes.
I really hated to call her and tell her that her best friend had passed away.
She took it well...better than I did actually. I think because she has outlived all three of her siblings and seen many of her childhood friends and elderly neighbors pass on.
Even though I feel such sorrow for my friend at the lost of his mother, I also feel good knowing that his mom was the best mother she knew how to be and a wonderful friend. She was my friend's best friend too. She did not always approve of his lifestyle and was anxiety ridden during the early "70's" when he became involved in the drug culture, but stood by him and gave him all the support he needed when he went through rehab. She was unhappy with his choice of a bride several years later, but her heart broke for him when his marriage ended in divorce. They disagreed on some things, but she loved her only child more than anything in the world and he knew it.
I can only hope that when my last day on earth comes my daughter will have learned to appreciate me as much as Tommy, my friend appreciated and loved his mom. I know she did not want to leave him, but she left with a whisper of reassurance in her ear, "Its okay mom. I'm okay."