Obession

I want all my readers to know that The Ball Incident took place several years ago. In the winter of 2001 actually. When my daughter graduated and came home from college she met The DICKWEED, so don't cheer me on too much because I stood by off and on for five years and did nothing about that situation.

This was a guy who on the first impression was, "Oh wow, clean cut, handsome, manners, ...ut oh...police officer!" That was the red flag! He was one arrogant SOB when you really got to know him. He was also a control freak and although he never laid a hand on my daughter he mentally and emotionally abused her. They moved in together after dating for about 6 months. Things started getting very ugly. She ended up with no friends, and he monitored her every move. After a year her dad and I rented a U-Haul truck and called her and said, "We are coming over now to load up your stuff. Start packing," and that is what we did. DICKWEED was there when we arrived and on the way over my daughter called me back and said, "Just don't start anything with him. The more you say the worse it will be." So I bit my tongue (till it just about bled) and did not say a word. We brought her back home with us and watched how he continued to control her from afar. She actually got counseling, but because she was in denial, it did no good. The day after she moved out, another girl moved in. See DICKWEED always had some poor unsuspecting naive girl out there hanging on a string.

She kept seeing him off and on for five years. OBSESSION!!!
Finally all hell broke loose when he was seriously involved with my daughter and living with another. They found out about each other. This time my daughter crashed and burned. You see he was so good at pretending...a real sociopath. So you may ask why didn't her father and I kick his ass or ruin his life?
#1- he had more weapons than we did (remember he is a police officer) and I was always afraid he would turn his anger on my daughter by using one of his many guns
#2 - My daughter and I fought constantly about DICKWEED and I had to just leave it alone if I wanted any kind of relationship with her
#3 - I just kept praying that she would see the light... sooner than later!

What I really do not understand is why do I see other young women meet decent men, marry and have a nice life. What is it about my daughter that makes her pick the idiot every time?
I asked her the other day, "How's it going with Dickweed Jr?" (the stupid guy with the crazy ex-girlfriend) and she tells me, "Well I know it's not gonna go anywhere." THEN MEET SOMEBODY ELSE DAMMIT!!! Why does she waste her time with dumb asses?

The BALL Incident

So my daughter was in this shitty relationship (off and on...for five years, you know...The DICKEWEED KING). She finally gets over him and now she has gone from one extreme to the other. She parties every weekend, is dead tired on Monday, is still attracted to arrogant jerks or just plain dumb asses, and is so unsettled she does not know what to do with herself. It is a never ending drama fest!



I promised I would write about the BALL incident.

When my daughter came home from school in the summer before her senior year she starting working as a cocktail waitress at a popular club in downtown Norfolk. The money was great and she saved over $3000.00 by the time the fall semester started. She was always a poor college student so any way within reason she could earn something to help with books and room and board and gas she would try.

Most of the staff at this club were either worthless guys with no ambition , potheads, or just dumb asses. Now with those choices who do you think my daughter would be attracted to? Yep, the dumb asses. The main dumb ass was the DJ. Six foot two, blond, hunky kind of guy, real charming, false smile...PLAYER written on his forehead. (My daughter tends to be blind at close range). They started dating and before you know it full blown summer romance!

Now don't get me wrong. He was likable. That was the charming thing about him. He even tried to charm me. Not an easy thing to do. Well, when it was time for my daughter to go back to school...1000 miles away I figured that would be the end of things between them. WRONG!

He stayed in touch and even flew up to Kentucky twice to see her before Christmas. Now during this time, I kept tabs on him. (I know people who know people). I even called him several times myself and from the impression I got, I knew he was seeing someone else. When my daughter flew home for Christmas they still continued to see each other. I had this real bad feeling from some things she told me and certain conversations I would overhear that all was not going well.

Then one day while at work I got a phone call. It was from a friend of my daughter's. (HA) She proceeded to tell me that SHITHEAD was screwing my daughter, her and someone else. She asked me if my daughter was with SHITHEAD at that moment and I said yes she is. We decided to go together and confront the problem. What a great idea!

At this time besides my professional day job I was also working part time at a pet store just to help with my daughter's college expenses. I always carried a box cutter in my purse. When we arrived at SHITHEAD's apartment one of the roommates (with a smile on his face) let us in and showed us the way to the bedroom. We opened the door and there was my daughter laying in the arms of the SHITHEAD. So I said as loud as I could, "Get your ass up and outta here. He is screwing you, the girl with me, and someone else." By this time the box cutter was in my hand, and I jumped on the bed, pushed my daughter aside and held the blade to SHITHEAD's balls.

She starting screaming, and couldn't believe the truth, he was begging and pleading and in all the drama the blade just happened to nick his balls enough to show red. He jumped up and ran screaming down the stairs and hid in a closet. I got my daughter dressed, and as we left I accidentally ran the box cutter down the length of his car.

Extreme yes, but so is HIV and every other sexually transmitted disease.

The next day I called The Department of Motor Vehicles and reported him for having no city sticker and driving without a license. The Department of Motor Vehicles reported him to the police and the police pulled him that evening when he left his apartment. They towed his car and it cost him $1,800.00 dollars in court cost and fines to get that straight. Then a few days after the car incident I called the restaurant where he worked part time as a waiter, and several days later at least 10 of my friends started calling and complaining about the tall blond waiter who was very sexually suggestive when he waited on them. He was fired. Never saw much of SHITHEAD after that. Of course my husband's threat of watch your back we know people who know people might of scared him off. He already figured I was insane.

A couple of years later I was at the airport picking up my daughter from a flight back into town and I saw him. I was sitting quietly sipping a cup of coffee and I looked up and there he was walking toward one of the gates. At that moment, he just happened to look across and see me...he ran.

Dad Test

I just got back from my daughter's house. Guess who was there? Yep...Dickweed Jr.

My husband and I had been out to eat dinner and before we left the restaurant I gave her a call and asked her if we could stop by for a little bit as I had a new bag of dog food for her pug...my only grandchild (the only one we will ever likely have). She told me he was there and so I giggled on the way over telling my husband, "You have to come in and meet this guy." I figured Dickweed Jr. would be a little nervous to meet the DAD. He already knows I don't particularly care for him. My daughter has told him what my nickname for him is. I don't think he was too happy to hear it. (HA) Of course he calls me Lornia Bobbit behind my back (I wonder if that has something to do with the fact I almost cut the balls off one of her ex-boyfriends about 8 years ago...another story for another post).

Did he pass the DAD test? HELL NO! Yea he is a nice enough guy, but we just do not trust him. Time will tell and hopefully he will not loose his balls in the process of dating my daughter.

I promise...next post...the BALL story.

Ch, Ch, Changes...

My daughter has decided to move back across the water. I actually think it is a good idea. Her drive into work is costing more than 400.00 dollars a month now with gas the way it is. She has always enjoyed big cities and so she is looking at Downtown Norfolk and the surrounding area. I grew up in Downtown Norfolk, but of course it is much different than it was when I was a kid. The revitalization of the area has been costly but the majority of blight is gone and in its place is new restaurants, shops, clubs, five star hotels, coffee houses, condos, townhouses and high rise apartments. It's kinda the yuppie place to be. It would fit her perfectly.

So what will she do with the house? Rent it out, after all Hampton Roads has several army bases, two naval bases and two Air force Bases. I would hope there is a nice service family out there looking for a friendly neighborhood with a good house. She can hang onto the house for several more years and make a profit once real estate starts selling again. In the meantime I have to get use to more changes. Until the house is rented out and she has found another place to live there will probably be quite a bit of upheaval in our lives. At my age I should be use to changes, but I have discovered that the older I get the more I hate them. With my daughter nothing ever stays the same. I am also beginning to realize that is another fact of life. I have seen her go through many transitions especially since college. It is hard for young people today to find a good job and make it on their own. She has done pretty good so far but it has been a struggle at times. Her father and I keep praying that while she is out there kissing all the frogs one of them will turn out to be a prince.

She is still dating the idiot and I have nicknamed him Dickweed Jr. The pyscho ex-girlfriend was after them all weekend. Why does she put up with this crap? I just don't get it!

Tick, Tick, Tick...boom!

I find myself in that state of unease again worrying about ... what else ... my daughter.

She bought her first house two years ago when the real estate market was booming. She saved money for a down payment and once she moved in she painted all the rooms and re-did the kitchen. She has spent quite a bit of time making the house her own with her unique personal touches. Now she knew when she bought it she would have to have a roommate. The first roommate was a girl from the mountains of VA. She accepted a teaching position here in Hampton Roads and stayed through the mid part of last summer. The roommate she has now is really great. It is actually a very good friend of hers. She has been offered a job in Charlotte, NC so she gave her 60 day's notice last week. Now here we go again looking for another roommate. If it was just the roommate situation I wouldn't have all this anxiety. You see, we live inland from most of Hampton Roads. The inner cities of VA Beach, Chesapeake and Norfolk are across the water, a distance of 30-45 miles. Not many people want to live in Suffolk and drive across the water to work anymore with the way gas prices are now. My daughter is seriously considering trying to find another job with a larger base pay, renting out the house and moving in closer to the coast. So I am telling her, "One thing at a time." Find a roommate first, start looking for another job and be realistic that in this economy it will take you some time to find a better job and then decide what to do about the house." She tells me that her gas bill for the month is almost like having another mortgage payment, so I can understand her dilemma; that and the fact that when she bought the house she was more settled then, than she is now. She was sill seeing DICKWEED and really thought she had a future with him. Now she is restless and just does not know what to do with herself, but she knows she needs a change.

I woke up this morning with that sick feeling in my stomach again.

Un-Typical Monday

I had a very nice birthday weekend. My husband and I enjoyed a romantic dinner for two at our favorite restaurant. We only go there once or twice a year and as always it was worth it. The next day my daughter took us to a movie and out to eat. It was nice that she could spare a few minutes of her time for her old parents. She met us at the theater and as always barely made it in time for the movies to start. My daughter is the type of person that if you say, "Be there at 4:00", you know she will be running late. I learned a long time ago to tell her to be somewhere 30-60 minutes early...I think she is catching on.

I was sitting here at my desk taking a break from working on reports all morning when I had a knock on my office door. It was the delivery guy from Edible Arrangements. The note card said, "A little something sweet to help continue wishing you a happy birthday, Love Kristen." That is my daughter too, she does the unexpected and has a very generous heart. What I appreciate about her the most is her generosity and her loyalty. No matter how much we bicker about the stupid men in her life I know that she loves me and will be there for me when I need her to be.

Happy 53

I drove into Norfolk today to visit my parents. Norfolk is only about 30 miles from where I live, just over the Elizabeth River on the other side of Hampton Roads...closer to the ocean front. I do not see them as often as I should but I try to wipe away those twinges of guilt when I start thinking about it. My father is 91 and my mom is 88. I have been very lucky to have them this long and everyday they are still here is a blessing.

I have a birthday tomorrow; my 53rd. It would be nice if I could live to see my 80's and have a sharp mind and a body that still functions well. It would also be nice to have a grandchild or two. Don't see that happening as long as my daughter keeps dating ASSholes.

The idiot she is hung up on now is another Player. Still the same guy from the last couple of weeks. The problem is that he believes he has her all wrapped up. Once a guy like that thinks he has the girl, he starts treating her differently. My daughter is not good at playing games. She has always been the type of person who puts her feelings out there, and in the past has "worn her heart on her sleeve...now she is trying another type of strategy, one that she is very unfamiliar with. The "Let me play hard to get and pretend I don't care for you as much as you think I do" tactic. I keep telling her, "Quit worrying about him and go out with someone else." Stupid remark to make because at this point she won't listen to any common sense...especially from me. I told her the other day I was considering putting her profile on E Harmony or Match. She was insulted of course and replied that she would never lower herself to online dating. "What the hell is the difference between meeting guys online and meeting them at clubs?" I asked. "They all seem to be ASSholes!!!"