STRESS

I started this blog for stress relief..ha! It's pretty bad when I can't even bring myself to post.
Here it is 5 days away from Christmas and I have no holiday spirit. I could care less. It is just going to be another day in my life. I haven't put up a tree in three years!

I go to bed at night with my shoulders weighted down and I wake up the same way in the morning...if I have the chance to even sleep. I carry it around with me all day long and it just never goes away.

I WISH MY DAUGHTER WOULD GET HER ACT TOGETHER!!! SHE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!

I could resort to drinking myself to death. It wouldn't be hard. Boozehounds run in the family on both sides. I just can't handle the hangovers anymore. It takes me a couple of days to recover from a binge so I gave that up several years ago.

I tried reading. I would go to the library and check out 5 books a week. For a while there I was reading every mystery novel ever written. I could become absorbed in a good blood and guts book and forget all the real life drama. Here lately I can't even pick up a book much less read one.

I haven't walked the dogs in a while...too dammed cold! Although they still give me unconditional love and comfort.

Work helps. There is something very humble about hearing the bugle boy play taps as the flag is folded when the men and women who have fought so hard for our country are laid to rest. Working at a veterans cemetery is very enlightening. Never thought I would like the funeral business so much.

And then there is cooking. When I get real stressed I go into the kitchen and cook my ass off. Of course my husband loves it. I just made my third pan if gingerbread in a week.

There is one positive note: I do not eat as much! I have lost at least 10 pounds in the last couple of months. My clothes are fitting nicely. So even though I feel like shit, I look better than I have in a while.