Little Shit

So I talked to Little Shit today. We have this game now where we text each other hateful funny messages. For instance when he found out I got a new job and it was at a cemetery he asked if was so I could bury him there. I text back, "Oh no I don't have to bury you, I will just cut you up into little pieces and feed you to the birds.
In reply he said, " This is an awful volatile way to treat someone that holds the key to your daughter's heart."

This afternoon Little Shit took a 3 hour trip with my daughter (in my car) to pick up and purchase her new Lexus. He fell asleep in the back and and after he woke up I told my daughter to put him on the phone. I heard them bickering back and forth, but he finally took the phone. First I asked him did he have his head out of his ass yet. He told me he had a little too much to drink last night and he wished he had saved the drinking for the trip as my daughter's race car driving was scaring him to death and making him sick. (HA HA) That's nothing compared to her driving 90 miles per hour through the mountains of West Virginia and you see your life flash before your eyes. Anyway, I told him for someone who holds the key to her heart he doesn't know how to turn the lock yet. He replied that he is off her shit list now and has been transferred to her naughty list. I told him he is still at the top of my shit list. So it goes...
I threaten different ways to kill him and he threatens to send me their twins to raise. (HA) I told him today in a text of course, I take your twins, raise them and teach them how to throw a knife with a pic of you as their target.

So it seems Little Shit and I have established some kind of bizarre relationship.